Faking the "It" Bag-My Social Barometer

So this summer, I was proudly toting the season's "IT" bag- a floral printed hobo with yellow snakeskin handles by Dolce and Gabbana. Said "IT" bag brought me a lot of attention and unsolicited compliments from admirers of my designer find. Mysteriously enough, nobody around town seems to be able to locate this oh.. sooo.. chic bag of the moment-not even at the Mall of Millenia. That's because my bag is an imposter. I bought it from the docks of the Nassau straw market during my annual spring girls' cruise to nowhere. In general, I tend to play by the social rules of my little universe except when it comes to the game of fashion oneupmanship that we women play. Here, I'll gladly bend those rules depending on the encounter. You see my fake bag has become my social barometer of cattiness versus coolness or rather bitchiness versus best friend material. My answer is always calibrated to whether women are doling out the compliments and questions genuinely or for ulterior motives. Those ballsy enough to ask me if it's fake are guaranteed to get my standard white lie "On this bag, bought it in New York on a trip last spring." While those truly interested, get the truth: "On this bag, isn't it great? It's totally fake, bought it in the Bahamas after negotiating it down to 65 bucks."

Let me illustrate said scenario:

This morning for example, I am in the bathroom of a local cafe when a complete stranger compliments my bag then asks me where I bought it. Instinctively, I know that she is sizing me up so I feel justified with my white lie: "New York City," I say sounding vague while instantly ruling out further questions, so I think. "Oh, did you get it from Canal Street?" she inquires, the subtext of which is challenging me to prove it's real.

"Oh no," I say. "It was a gift. Thanks for the compliment," as I smugly exit making a mental note to self, Note to self: if you must ask if it's fake, then I will fake it. If you don't give a damn then hey let's hang out! Maybe I'll even show where I buy my designer jeans.