If the downsizing continues at rapid fire pace, we at least have a new booming job niche to find work-the Sign Hawker. He’s the person at the busy intersection screaming at you while waving assorted signs such as: “Going Out of Business Sale-Everything Must Go!” or “Open House- Buy Your Dream Home Today and Get a Free Pool” or this one-“Condo Auction Today! Below Appraisals.”
Sometimes the occasional grand opening gimmick appears-the guy in a chicken costume advertising the new wings joint or the large dancing cup of coffee pointing to the new gourmet coffee stand. There’s a lot of competition for high traffic turf these days. The crappy economy has humbled many business owners and it seems they are all competing for our attention on the cheap. No more money in the marketing budget for glossy magazine ads and direct mail brochures. Instead, enterprising entrepreneurs have found a way to get around county and city codes that prohibit advertising signs on right aways and grassy medians.
Back when the economy was humming along, the only people standing on street corners waving signs where high school kids promoting car wash fundraisers. Today, this new breed of sign hawker fills a real job description. They are paid in cash by the hour to stand at traffic lights while you are held hostage to the red light for several minutes all the while screaming for your attention with various tactics-some dance, others sing, and the real efficient ones just jump up and down and yell.
My first reaction is to rubberneck and I’m sure there have been a few fender benders from motorists transfixed at the oddities at the intersection. It’s a bizarre marketing tactic and a dangerous one too. The only good that comes out of it is employment for the unemployable-the ones who would stand out on said street corner anyway with a pan handling sign “Out of Work, Hungry. Help!” There’s still quite a few of those too and given the crashing economy, they now have to compete with desperate commerce as well. So, if all else fails we can make some quick cash by wearing a sandwich board for a few hours until we get ticketed for loitering. Or worse, until our neighbor drives by and honks. Hey, every economy has its quirks.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
If Only Life Was Like Monopoly-
Since I don’t feel rich these days, I can at least make my fortune with a good game of monopoly. I get to hold a wad of cash, even if it's only monopoly money, and buy up prime real estate, sit on it until the market turns, then capitalize on the subsequent building boom by constructing billions of little green houses and big red hotels then retire early before the next downward cycle. As a side investment, I’d horde all of the Get Out of Jail Free cards to sell to the soon-to-be indicted Wall Street Execs.
Unfortunately, life isn’t like monopoly and lately it hasn’t been fun and games. This past week, I’ve witnessed three casualties of the crummy economy and I am sure the jobless body count will continue. My friends are all victims of corporate downsizing and cutbacks and from various industries-one works in human resources, another in PR and a third, a close colleague of mine, lost his job in TV. Given the cutthroat job market, I have resorted to accepting a few crumbs from the crumbling economy myself –low paying freelance writing gigs for the sake of work because it's slim pickins out there.
A lot like life, at least the kind of lives around here, the object of MONOPOLY is to become the wealthiest player through buying, renting and selling property. It seems Florida has gets a big fat F in this area and everyone is suffering the fallout. Apparently, none of us played monopoly in our childhood. If we had, I’m willing to bet we would’ve learned how to hold onto that wad of monopoly cash with wise investments and realize the banker isn’t our best bud, he’s the enabler.
BTW-If you’re short on cash, you can print more monopoly money from the website. If only the same were true for the US Treasury department.
Unfortunately, life isn’t like monopoly and lately it hasn’t been fun and games. This past week, I’ve witnessed three casualties of the crummy economy and I am sure the jobless body count will continue. My friends are all victims of corporate downsizing and cutbacks and from various industries-one works in human resources, another in PR and a third, a close colleague of mine, lost his job in TV. Given the cutthroat job market, I have resorted to accepting a few crumbs from the crumbling economy myself –low paying freelance writing gigs for the sake of work because it's slim pickins out there.
A lot like life, at least the kind of lives around here, the object of MONOPOLY is to become the wealthiest player through buying, renting and selling property. It seems Florida has gets a big fat F in this area and everyone is suffering the fallout. Apparently, none of us played monopoly in our childhood. If we had, I’m willing to bet we would’ve learned how to hold onto that wad of monopoly cash with wise investments and realize the banker isn’t our best bud, he’s the enabler.
BTW-If you’re short on cash, you can print more monopoly money from the website. If only the same were true for the US Treasury department.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Why Did the Turtle Cross the Road?
In one week, I have seen on three different occasions good Samaritans, perfectly looking sane individuals, stop traffic, get out of their car on a busy roadway, and risk their lives to help a turtle cross the road. I’m not sure if it’s turtle mating season, or the turtles are just as restless as the locals, given the dicey economy and daily doom and gloom financial news. But, whatever the turtles’ motivation, these creatures seem to be out in full force on suburban roadways. What is it about a turtle that seems to bring out the best in us? While we might think twice about stopping to help a stranded motorist (easier to dial 9-1-1 we reason-they’re the professionals plus I’m sure Road Ranger or AAA is on its way) Few can resist the silent cry for help from a cute wayward turtle who has ventured into the concrete jungle in search of a pocket of greenery and a pond.
Case in point: Headed down International Parkway mid-day, I pump my brakes as I see the car ahead of me come to a dead stop. My first impulse was to honk the horn at the idiot who stopped short almost causing an accident but then my heart melted as I saw this twenty-something man jump out of his car scoop up a dawdling turtle and walk him safely to the other side of the roadway. Next encounter: I am driving down Lake Emma as I approach two lanes of traffic at a standstill. Yet another good Samaritan saving a turtle as he simultaneously directs traffic with one hand while holding the lost turtle in the other. Then just yesterday, I exit the gates of Lake Forest and stop suddenly: another turtle crossing the road unassisted. A woman in an SUV suddenly jumps out barefooted dressed in her tennis outfit and runs across the on-coming traffic exiting the gates and whisking the turtle away from his certain fate as road kill.
Although I doubt crossing guards for turtles are in the municipal budget, maybe we can designate turtle crossways much like we have those road signs warning motorists of bears and assorted wildlife activity. We need the turtle perhaps more than it needs us. The cute creature brings out the best in us, reminds us of our humanity and challenges us to do the right thing. Now more than ever, it’s comforting to see humanity at work. People may be stressed about their mortgage, the fate of their 401K, heck- their jobs for that matter but everyone seems to have a soft spot for the turtle. It gives me hope that we all hold on to our compassion even in tough times, especially in tough times.
Case in point: Headed down International Parkway mid-day, I pump my brakes as I see the car ahead of me come to a dead stop. My first impulse was to honk the horn at the idiot who stopped short almost causing an accident but then my heart melted as I saw this twenty-something man jump out of his car scoop up a dawdling turtle and walk him safely to the other side of the roadway. Next encounter: I am driving down Lake Emma as I approach two lanes of traffic at a standstill. Yet another good Samaritan saving a turtle as he simultaneously directs traffic with one hand while holding the lost turtle in the other. Then just yesterday, I exit the gates of Lake Forest and stop suddenly: another turtle crossing the road unassisted. A woman in an SUV suddenly jumps out barefooted dressed in her tennis outfit and runs across the on-coming traffic exiting the gates and whisking the turtle away from his certain fate as road kill.
Although I doubt crossing guards for turtles are in the municipal budget, maybe we can designate turtle crossways much like we have those road signs warning motorists of bears and assorted wildlife activity. We need the turtle perhaps more than it needs us. The cute creature brings out the best in us, reminds us of our humanity and challenges us to do the right thing. Now more than ever, it’s comforting to see humanity at work. People may be stressed about their mortgage, the fate of their 401K, heck- their jobs for that matter but everyone seems to have a soft spot for the turtle. It gives me hope that we all hold on to our compassion even in tough times, especially in tough times.
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